I just seem to get anxiety attacks out of nowhere recently
earlier today my boss was walking by and I backed up because I was trying to get something, and he put his hands on my hips to stop me and to stop himself so that we didn’t crash into each other
idk it just freaked me out and I just kept being really really bothered by it and my heart rate hasn’t slowed in hours and I’ve been stressed as fuck because too few people but it’s been busy as fuck since I got there
and yesterday or the day before I was behind the grill plugging its big heavy-duty plug in and someone popped a bag behind me and for a moment I felt my heart stop because I knew I was dead I had fucked up I was electrocuted I was dead and I just hadn’t realized it yet
and then the world slowly resumed as I realized I was fine and nothing had happened but I just freaked out about it for an hour because I was afraid I was going to die in that little space between the freezer and the grill.
I’m just kind of stressed the fuck out right now, wow.
I just spent 20 minutes typing this out with my thumbs only to have it disappear on me. *whale noises*
I’ve probably asked this before, Theo, but have you thought about going to see someone? Idk if your insurance could help pay for a psychiatrist, but if you get in to see one they can evaluate whether medication would benefit you and what strategies you can use to ease the pressure. If you can’t, maybe your general practitioner could give you some advice, although with a regular doctor you’re probably going to get either ‘not my department, let me direct you to a specialist’, or ‘here’s a prescription, tell me how it works for you and I’ll see you in three months’.
If neither of those sound appealing, how about this?
The one and only time I made it through to see the therapist, she recommended this book to me. I didn’t make it very far through, since I did need medicine to make any progress, but the info in it seemed very plainly laid out, and from the first page I was nodding along with what the author was saying. It has whole sections for figuring out exactly what pings you, and helps you set up a plan for dealing with those things.
I hope you find something to help you with this, Theo, and more to the short-term I hope you feel less anxious right now. I know how welcome even a little reprieve can be. Message me if you’d like to talk or something! *hugs*
Welp, time to reread Homestuck.
Wow, it took me three times through to realize the cards John was laying down in Solitaire were 413. Master of deduction, that’s me. :/
Oh man I can’t wait for the fanfiction containing random background arms.